Sensory Memory, by Raven

Raven a member of “Sweet Hearts of The Rodeo” and a friend has graciously given me an interview on the subject of Sensory Memory that we’ve been studying this last week from Robert Olen Butler’s book “From Where You Dream.” Raven’s blog can be found at: The Raven’s Eye This week, we will be doing the exercise from chapter 9 of his book.

I want to thank Raven for taking the time to do this interview; she is an excellent student of the craft of fiction and a wonderful writer. Read what Raven has to say as she answers the questions I posed, as she talks about a story she is in the mist of writing.

I've been asked by my Sweetheart's colleague, JB, about my view on Robert O. Butler's sensory memory. Recently, I posted my feature story on the Sweetheart's board over at the Writer's Village University. Within the story is a scene in which the main character comes across a dead foal. JB has asked me:

1)Did you draw back in your mind, as you experienced writing the scene visually?


I found that when approaching this scene, my inner eye focused on visual details more than anything else. Smell came into play, but only in a limited way. Most of what my character felt was suspended, in favor of the initial visual impact. In order to record the details, I found it necessary to draw back and view the scene as a camera. The position of the foal, the minute details became the focus of what I intended to be a snapshot of the foal. The moment of discovery, became an objective view in which my character, Evie, acted like a lens, not a filter. From that point, I unraveled the story, allowing Evie to slowly begin the process of filtering how she felt about the dead foal. The result feels intellectual, but the intent is emotional. The gradual unpeeling of Evie's feelings is low key, as opposed to dramatic. In this, I feel the process reflects a version of reality, though not the commonly depicted one. It is more common to see everything stuffed into one paragraph or to find metaphor and simile acting like the filter. Theses are adequate ways to filter scenes and reveal the yearning, but I feel as though these are also temptations that can lead to generalization and abstraction.

The scene, as I have written it, is supposed to rely on what comes shortly before and long after the moment, creating an overall feeling for Evie's situation. It remains to be seen whether it succeeds. The process demands many sessions in which the words, images and descriptions must be continuously stroked. The filter needs to be present in imagery in order to avoid stepping into the "she felt" or "she thought" mode.

Please understand that I am not dismissing the use of the pov filter nor am I saying it isn't a vital tool in writing, I am simply saying that the way in which we utilize the filter can vary according to the conditions created by the story. I think it is a good thing to experiment in order to learn the particulars of this technique.

With my story undergoing its third, serious revision, it remains to be seen whether this approach will satisfy the sensory specifications Mr. Butler calls for in his teachings.


2)What details do you think you could have added that would increase the reader's mind visually to what Grace saw and felt as she viewed the remains?

Visually, I think I've offered enough support. My concern is whether I ought to allow Evie's filter in. I'm reluctant to do so because, after several experiments in which I allowed her to speculate, or "translate" the scene, I felt the intensity of the scene was diluted by what essentially felt like an invasion of Evie's psyche. I believe this may be where the students in chapter eight foundered and lost direction. Sometimes, using the pov filter invites speculation; speculation opens the door to generalization and abstraction. Used carelessly, the filter can be detrimental to a work. On the other hand, I think mastering the combination of the filter and lens is something worth pursuing, so I am returning, yet again, to the scene of the crime to study it and hopefully come up with a combination that meets Mr. Butler's standard.

3) Butler says in Chapter 9 of "From Where You Dream" that sometimes the narrative voice is allowed abstraction and generalization. What do you think that means?

I think this refers to filtering in the reflective sense. To thoroughly know the character, is to understand her/his concept of any word. Characterization takes some of the weight of this form of abstraction/generalization as can dialogue and inner monologue. The words "it hurts." Can be abstract, until the reader knows the main character is sitting under a tree, thinking about her dead father. Then what is general has become specific, though it is voiced as a nonspecific concept. So, then, if proper placement or setting is provided, in addition to good characterization (which would include dialogue, description, etc and character action (which I define as the actual things said and done in the story) I think abstraction and generalization work well enough. I am willing to investigate this further. It is my goal to "soften" Evie in the story. I'm not satisfied that I've accomplished this at this point in the revision.

Metaphors, Similes, and Sensory details

Being pure southern, as well as debouching metaphorically the English language with such similes as Query Shark’s Blog defines in Janet Reid’s #106 article blogged Friday March 20, 2009.

As aspiring authors, we need to pay close attention to the rules of colorful writing that will stop an agent or editor in their tracks, too formulate a rejection. She says frankly that metaphors should illuminate and not confuse the reader.

So understanding figurative language and its use is the wanna-be’s aspiration.

A metaphor is a comparison of two things that does not use "like" or "as." Where as a simile is a comparison of two things using "like" or "as."

Figurative language is a word or phrase that departs from everyday literal language for the sake of comparison, emphasis, clarity, or freshness.

At About.com Ginny Wiehardt discusses metaphors, similes, and conveying emotion without lapsing into sentimentality. She gives examples of Raymond Chandler’s use of similes and metaphors, how it often supported larger themes in his book The Long Goodbye, as in:

"And his eyes were like holes poked in a snowbank."
"His hair was as smooth as a bird's breast."

“WHISTLE BRITCHES is a southern term of endearment for boys with more energy than sense and who talk to hear their heads rattle.”

What struck Ms. Reid was the last part of the sentence structure (Is "talk to hear their heads rattle" another southern turn of phrase? It jars me (Ms. Reid says) because heads don't rattle.) —who talk to hear their heads rattle. As a southerner, the expression I’d always heard was—to hear their heads roar. Meaning metaphorically they would rather hear the sound of their own voice than to listen to the common sense of reasoning and logic. I’ve commented and asked on Ms. Reid’s article, if she thought roar would be a better word choice, metaphorically. I will post her response in the comment section of this article. (My quest as an aspiring author is to learn from those that have the knowledge as much as I can, and one mistake I make frequently is not reading aloud what I have written. And having rephrased the question and posted the meaning a second time on the blog, I’m reluctant to post it a third time, fearing utter embarrassment. I do think and feel that I have the meaning expressed better in the above highlighted in blue.)

I’m way behind in my groups discussion “Sweet Hearts of the Rodeo” this week and I’m thankful there is no writing exercise. Anecdote Exercise this week’s topic, from Robert Olen Butler’s book “From Where You Dream” chapter 8. Chapter 8 deals with the descriptive details of the sensory memory as the anecdote is put into words. Robert Olen Butler asks the students to volunteer to tell an anecdote orally. After the students that volunteered have told their tale, they stand to repeat the story they have conveyed, and he draws their attention to the abstraction, generalization of their opening. He attempts to draw from each student precise sensory details through sight, sound, touch-- the elements of the senses that bring the reader into the story visually.

One student began an opening sentence with “There are men sitting”; Butler immediately says to her, “you’re generalizing.” What he is saying is that she’s not focusing on specifics.

When you take a panoramic view of the room, as you walk in utilizing the senses, you might see, “A man sitting in the corner, waiting his turn with the barber, as he listens vicariously to the music drone from the radio, thumping his fingers against armrest of the chair in tune.” We’re painters Robert Olen Butler says, detailing through descriptive details, what is before us, to the reader in moment- to -moment sensory impressions.
Don’t draw back from the emotional aspect, as you write the character’s viewpoint of a scene, what they might view (through the senses of smell, hear, see, touch, taste) in the opening paragraph of your story.

These are my thoughts as I learn through reading, and taking into account others interpretation of the craft of writing. I do hope you share your thoughts, view, and interpretation.
Happy Writing!